Thursday, January 7, 2010

Gay Asian & White Men

I accidentally ran into a comment on Gay Banker's Blog. See the author of the blog is a white man and into Asian men. One of the comment stated like this:

"My experience has been that younger white gay men usually add the "No asians please" in their ads. But, as they grow older and they don't get any hot white guys, they go for the younger asian guys. The asian guys, on the other hand, who may have a low self esteem, due to being rejected by a lot of white men, feel a sense of achievement, when they are chased by a white man, even though the white man is older."

What's your take on that? Is it true? It'd be interesting....

87 comments:

  1. I strongly doubt that this is even close to any kind of general truth.

    Obviously, if you happen to be very hottt on the daily fresh meat market, you may be inclined to be very picky. Conversely, if the market is not quickly validating your attributes you may choose to be a bit less selective in order to get laid. So, if you only focused on very cute white, gym-rat dudes in their mid-20s, you may now add other races to the mix, and extend the search to say, the guys in their early 30's who may not be sporting a perfect six-pack.

    The 'no asians, please' clause has been spreading around like some sort of a fashion for a while. Even guys who really would not mind having an asian BF, FB, etc., feel compelled to mention this, in order to remain "exclusive" and "very much in demand".

    The gay media and all the other major gay trendsetters are still projecting monoracial relationships as the most desirable ones. Big part of the "no asian please-phenomenon" is really their doubtful achievement.

    On the other hand, general media and general trendsetters are equally so projecting an image of an older, usually successful guy having a trophy GF/BF much younger than he is.

    If you put the two and two together, you end up having a skewed phenomenon as described in the original post.

    I have met a few guys who had the "no asians please" in their online profiles. Most of them quoted all kinds of stereotypes ranging from "small dicks" to being "only bottoms", etc. No one has admitted that having an asian BF would be somehow detrimental to his social status. Though, I felt that you could read that in-between the lines, too.

    Very few openly stated that they do not feel like spending any time and energy overcoming the cultural differences and idiosyncracies.

    SC

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  2. I am a gay asian, 22 years old...and I can definitely relate to this post, sadly.

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  3. I am a gay Asian guy who used to date older White men because of their maturity and patience. However, I've always liked white guys my age. Now that I'm in my early 30s, I'm more attracted to younger white guys, usually 6-7 years my junior.

    Sadly, too, that I keep seeing the "no Asians please." And older guys, 10 years plus, keep hitting on me. I have my pride and would rather grow old alone than settle for second best or someone's "fall back" chink.

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    1. People like what they like. There are baggages with any relationship as people will attempt to assign you to a stereotype. One need not "reform" unless one is convinced that a change in modus is desired. In short it's all personal taste. I see both asians and non-asians constantly struggling to place either themselves or others into nice neat niches. An older non-asian male who dates asians of any legal age gets classified as an "RQ." Conversely, an asian couple is classified as "sticky" simply because their partners are of the same race. It's either racism or xenophobia; or perhaps an accute sense of gay-related psychosis. As one who does not racially profile the guys I date, within a spectrum of preferences, I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.

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    2. It's like whateva floats your boat. I'm a 42 year old white guy. I don't like to date 20 somethings simply because of lack of common ground. I prefer men of color for the most part. They are more humble and self-aware than many whites. I still get the winks from the twinks but prefer the famly values of asian bros. One thing that i have noticed with 20 somethings...esp asians, is the role of money. One audacious Vietnamese attempted to talk me into questionable money investments with him. C'mon...it was our third date. I dumped his ass. Two questions are important to me: "are you over 30?" and "do you have a career?" Dated em 20 to 49. The 49 year old was hot! One last thought: why should race even be a factor at all? Most of the posts here only re-vitalize worn-out stereotypes. If a 20 year old wants a 78 year old...power to em. If an asian wants an asian guy...cool! Stereotypes only lead barriers to enriching friendships despite whateva floats the boat!

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    3. Same scenario with me after years of pursuing the white guys of my dream. I have been up and on with many white guys in several relationships; they cheated on me with other Asian dudes. I am a practical Asian guy. I am going for black dudes now. After being with this black guy, I find that it's easier to be with someone who likes you than chasing someone you like. OCVietGuy

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    4. you have answer my question!! I am asian, 22 now and confusing my position. I am thinking why in NC no white guy hitting up on me or even california, only old white guy interested. I realize I am so picky and narrow view. After reading couple of blog and article. I finally find the answer. I should open to someone who interested me (may be not love first, gay community does not work like that) rather than someone not interested me. Anyway Thanks for your comments!!

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  4. I guess, I have to add that my experience has been very similar to one mentioned in the comment. Sad but true. Gay men are like teenage girls. They might be interested in someone, but the moment their friends sneer at the potential date, the date is dropped. Same goes for looks, ethnicity etc. Gay men, esp. guys in their 20's to 30's have to grow up, if not they might miss on many nice guys.

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  5. Forget about being nice, I reckon you can score anyone you like as long as you can project your confidence to which it is something that I still have to work on. Online dating can be really superficial but it doesn't really represent the actual personality of the people. I have once made a comment that I couldn't find an Indian guy attractive, but somehow I met this guy (Indian) through a friend that is so hot that, being slutty I am, I invited him for a fun time. So, you see, if you really wanted to score someone that you like, you gotta try to go out more, project your confidence, have a positive attitude or maybe you could do something about your appearance by going to gym (aside for boosting your appearance, its good for your wellbeing) and groom yourself abit then perhaps you will find that special someone. Fake it til you make it. So to sum it up, my take on the topic and from my experience, those guys who made a cynical comment like that perhaps haven't quite meet asian guys that much or they are just not attracted to certain races and i think thats ok. Just like any potato queen who can't be forced to like any other type of races. So it is up to us how to market ourselves (but don't pimp ourselves). If those thing still doesn't work then either you move on or you take the comment personally and feel even more self pity. Good luck to all of us.

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  6. I don't really agree with some of your findings. I'm Vietnamese and currently in a relationship with a British guy. We just love each other so much. And I find my own situation far from what you concluded. I do top and he's bottom even though he's extremely straight-acting and I'm not as manly as him. Plus, I'm 23 and he's just 1 year older than me, so it's just perfect. I personally think that the fact you being into someone really depends on your personal preference And you need emotion or/and chemistry. That's all.

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  7. While I think you are more or less right about the fact that there are more older white men who are attracted to Asian men than younger white men who are attracted to Asian men, I don't know if it's necessarily because the older white men can no longer "get" the younger white men. That's difficult to prove. There is a possibility that as they grow older, they also grow wiser and more openminded and are less preoccupied with superficialities like looks and social status.

    I know that's true for me even though I am a mid-20s Asian guy. When I was a teenager, I only liked white guys but as I grew older, I began to see the beauty in other Asian guys. And it's not because white guys didn't want me, so I had no choice but to go with Asians. On the contrary, I had 2 white boyfriends in my 20s, both younger than me (they were 20 and 21 at the time) and both very attractive...like, seriously haha. And I have actually rejected A LOT of young white guys (and even more older white guys).

    So while I have been rejected by a lot of young white guys too, I haven't developed any sense of inferiority or self-esteem issues that have led me to just take any white guy that makes a pass at me. I still have my standards. I still pick and choose who I date and sleep with.

    BTW, I've been with white, Asian and black guys, all under 30 (on a scale of 1-10, most were probably 7 with 2-3 10s). I've also been with older white men but only if I am genuinely attracted to them, and NOT just because they're white. Most of the guys I still date/sleep with are young white guys and while I admit the choice is slimmer because as you said, most young white guys don't like Asians, I still have a good enough pool to work with so that I can afford to reject the ones I don't want and still get laid on a regular basis.

    I don't say all this to brag as I am anonymous. I say this because I want to encourage other Asian guys to have some self respect for yourselves and not throw yourselves at every single white guy that shows even remote interest in you. If you didn't come off so desperate and clingy, maybe they'll want you more. I know it's worked for me.

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    1. I am an older gay white man who has always been attracted to non-whites. I can't account for this since I grew up in a small town and the single Asian in the school was female, two years behind me and I never knew her other than by sight. When I grew up there were virtually no Asians (or Blacks) on television. Yeah, I am that old. I had some 'flings' with Asians when I was younger and a longer term relationship with an Indian whom I even visited in his home country (to discover a wife and 2 sons!). In late years I have found the quality of the interaction between my partner and myself in any fling from the one-night to the committed (which I prefer more and more to the point that I never seek a one-night stand any more, it just sometimes turns out that way, sometimes - I am nearly always parted by circs beyond my control (like a wife) or distance, or the fact that I moved often in my work, and also travelled for pleasure a lot. I simultaneously find myself preferring men of Far Eastern and Southeastern Asian background more and more exclusively. It is not because it is easier - it is much harder, actually, because I have returned to my highly white semi-rural hometown for good. It is because I find them increasingly attractive physically which I can't explain, and also because, though they may be harder to meet and it it may be harder to make them want to stay with me, I find that as a whole the quality of interaction from start to finish is more intense. Of course, the fact that I am attracted probably makes me overlook more - when you like someone, you are less likely to be put off by his quirks, but also it does seem that these men I have met have put more of themselves into interactions, both carnal and social. I find too, that some Asians - maybe more than I realize, are actually offended when someone is attracted to them BECAUSE they are Asian. So one is damned if one does and damned if one doesn't.

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  8. Another anonymous Asian guy here. I totally agree with what the person above me has said. However, I have to admit that the blogger's conclusion came to my mind in the past, though it remains next to impossible to verify.

    I personally treat every white guy, older or younger than myself (I'm 25) just as I would any other guy, irrelevant of ethnicity. I can only encourage Asian guys to demonstrate some self-esteem and stop placing white men on some pedestal of hotness. Doing so merely harms your confidence and makes you all that much more unattractive. Not that you are unattractive, to begin with.

    I live in London, and several years back, my bf (White, handsome and 27; He didn't win me that easily, I made sure of that) and I ended up in a bar close to Soho (gay area) called Kudos. My my...the staggering number of young, Asian guys, many of them pretty hot, clinging to those elderly white guys like they were the most gorgeous things alive. Needless to say, as a gay Asian dude myself, I felt utterly embarrassed for them and left the place as soon as I emptied my first drink.

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  9. I higly disagree the quote from that blog. I am a gay asian (filipino) american and I've been with my white (italian) american boyfriend since I was 16, and currently going on 7 years! Also he is younger than me by a year. So anywho my point here is that it generally depends on the person, people should not just make a general statement like that. That's his own oppinion, and for in fact I had other white males flirt with me majority were within my age group. It just boils down to attraction. But needless to say I have seen younger asians with older white men, and to my personal oppinion. I would never date an older white male. I am perfectly happy with the person I'm with now.

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  10. I can relate to this. I am 30yrs old asian guy, who are really into white mature guys, but of course those who manage totake good care of their bodies. Unfortunately herein the Philippines, most white guys I met are only looking for sex. Some I met are good guys but there are lot of temptations and when they happened to meet someone they tend to lose interest in you and find a new one. My last bf was a swedish but he died of cancer last 2008, now i am in search again, but I am very careful. Whoever white mature gay guy there might be interested let us start from exchange of email. email add is gago302@yahoo.com. Thank you

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  11. wtf, this is so true. I'm so pissed off that all those creepy as sh*t old white guys come up to me and talk to me like they gonna have me fo sho!!! WTF, IM NOT INTO YOU, OKAY? and all those young white guys, who give a fuck if your interested in asian or not, you gonna get old, and you gonna be doomed, on the other hand, im beyond pissed that so many my asian fellows have such a low self esteem, WTH, there are so many hot asian out there, why cant you just admit who you are and date your own people, whats up with all these crap!!!!!!!!

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  12. My question to Asian men is why not date each other? I rarely see two Asian guys together unless I'm actually in Asia (I live in the west coast of US). If we don't find each other attractive & status level worthy, why should anyone else?I find that Asian guys can be very demeaning to each other. If they spent as much effort building each other up vs. competing for the few rice queens, self esteem would not be an issue (I'm an Asian guy whose dated Latino, white, black & Asian).

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  13. I'm 65 and have loved Asian men since I was in high school. There are a lot of us who do. Many of us are however in long term relationships (20 years myself).
    An yes there are many whites who do not care for Asians.
    Life is a crap shoot, but DO NOT give up. If you find the right guy (it took me 40 years) it is worth all the crap along the way.
    And I had a lot of fun hunting too by the way!

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  14. I'm a 23 year old white male, regular gym junkie. Yes I do consider myself picky however, race is not a factor for me. I love asians, africans, latin, middle eastern, whites etc etc... I think everyone needs to get over their little prejudices and big egos, and just get it on! ;)

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    1. Hello


      I wish I could someone to accept me as who I am and where do came from....Im eddie from the philippines and Im at ur age...add me on skype...ted mcconoughey...

      Delete
  15. I guess I'm a bit of the lucky on then? I'm a 18 years old white guys and I'm into Asians.. and i can add that i don't wanna be an 40+ year old with a 20- year old >.< its just disgusting.
    Anyway hope to find a asian guy in my age :)

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    1. Hi..love takes no boundaries,no exceotion and no condition....im eddie 23. And im looking for someone tobe with.....add my skype..ted mcconoughey..,,thanks...

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  16. I guess I'm fortunate to be asian & actually very attractive. White guys in mid 20s with "no asians" ads have found me hot. Not to be cocky, just that the typical "chinky eyes, twink bodied, feminine acting" asian guys are referred to in this post. And that is sadly a whopping 90% of gay asians.

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  17. i have read the " no asias, in lots of profiles from white gay men, i am 25 yo white blond , and i am not into in gay scene at al, but i do the online scene, so i think its true that mosltly young white gay men donbt have atraction to asian men, the reason: in my case , its cuz i am only atracted to other white men, but i guess that is only my preference, its called rules of atraction, and tehre is nothing we can do about it !!

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  18. My own experience is very different than many guys here. I am and older white guy, but I have found asian men to be particularly (but not exclusively) attractive for as long as I can remember. This hasn't changed a bit since my 20s. Also, I do appreciate somewhat younger guys (always have) but handsome older asian men always catch my attention. I feel no devaluation towards asian or other non-wite guys. For me, attraction means I see you as highly desirable and deeply valuable. Jack

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  19. i'm white, with a chinese boyfriend that is 7 years older (i'm 41 now). i've loved asian guys since age 10 and being trained in tae kwon do by a 16 yo korean guy. he was so cute and had a nice cock (we had to change outta our gi and shower after class, so it was innocent, but i peeked!) and i was in alabama at that time; asian population was minute, sooooo go figure. i'm in nyc now and there seems to be more of a class/aspiration issue with the young asian/elderly white guy dealings than anything else. my circle is mixed, ethnically, but we are all pretty much in the same place professionally, creatively, and socially. age and race don't matter so much. but then again, i see the security and advantage of hitting up on an older established guy.

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  20. I'm older white guy. I keep myself in damn good shape.. I generally like just about all Asian guys, as long as they keep themselves in some what decent shape. At least the Asian guys i been with i find more sweet,loving,playful and appreciate you. Then again I live in pretty much Asian community here in So. Calif. USA way!..

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  21. Hey there, Im a Korean-born Canadian turning nineteen soon. From my experience, dating other asian men can get really annoying. I had a Chinese bf once and I dated him because he was pretty much the only gay guy I knew at my small high school. I'll be honest and say that the experience was horrible, because we had so many differences no matter how much I loved his bj. Im into working out and going to the gym, and taking care of myself as a proper human male, not some anorexic chic. And Im quite hairy, which is really strange for east asians, and I get comments about the amount of hair I have from people of all races. They find it very intriguing and sexy. For instance, Im a lifeguard here at my local pool, and asian ppl always stare at me with admiration as if Im some divine alien, while I always catch these white girls peeking at my body(hair). And almost everyone asks me if Im fully asian (or if Im half white) because I don't fit the stereotypical gay asian type.

    So there's a reason why asian boys dont date asian boys. I think they're just too feminine and unappealing, let alone having any self esteem and confidence. My experience with white guys have been interesting as well, but not as horrible as the asian guys. I usually like older men for maturity's sake, and I dated a white guy 2 yrs older than me before, and he couldn't get enough of me! I literally had to cut myself off from him when he got lazy.. He got really fat and disgusting from eating chips and watching tv all day..

    So anyways, I really dont understand why so many fit, young asian guys would want to date old, white, fat men. Please go get yourself some confidence and find what you really like!

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    1. In my eyes you seem to be a sheer arrogant bigot

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    2. Cant agree more

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    3. Yep, bigot as they come!

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  22. I'm a 38 Asian guy from Northern California who have only dated White and Latin men. I do this because I find their features very attractive to me. I've always been attracted to White and latin men every since I was 6 years old. However, now that I"m older, I've become more open to dating an Asian guy but I would never actually go seek one like I would with White and Latin men. I do find some Asian guys attractive but rarely do I actually find one that is sexually attractive. For me, it's really just a preference because I just find Latin and White men more interesting.

    care to chat on yahoo mssnger? holler at me: "Azn2kool73"

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    1. Maybe you should go past your colonial mentality.

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  23. As someone of Chinese descent in his late 30s with an average physique and geek-type personality (I sure as hell don't fit the beautiful, effeminate twink stereotype), I'm open to dating guys of any ethnicity.

    I will admit I've always had a preference for bearish guys with stocky/husky physiques and facial hair. Asian bears in particular are super hot, but you don't run into many guys who fit that type, much less ones that are into other Asians.

    I'm not opposed to dating older guys...as long as they're not old enough to be my father because of the generational gap. Most of the much older guys I've met have a different set of values and a way of looking at life in general.

    Normally, I'm not as into younger guys, although 1-5 years younger is fine.

    Ideally, I would want to date a bear-type who's slightly older and seems more experienced than me, but is close enough in age for us to be able to relate to one another, if that makes any sense.

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    1. I agree with you on bearish guys, it somehow makes them much more mature in my point of view

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  24. I've been told to be a beautiful asian man, mostly mistaken as half white (I'm Filipino) but I grew up thinking I was unattractive. Now that I'm in early 30s & no where near the great physical buff shape when I was in college, I really dont understand why I wasted my time thinking I wasn't as attractive as my white counterparts when in truth I frequently turned down advances from Abercrombie types. Bottom-line: I think in my case there is a significant bit of socialization that molded my sense of inadequacies. I'm just currently starting to challenge this "colonized" mentality & I would really like to see where this will take me. It is frustrating to date white men sometimes as they are less tender, more casual, & at times too selfish when gauged by my Asian values. Similar value systems will help build a foundation & sustain a relationship in the long term.

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  25. I'm asian, I like older, bearish white guys. I dont have low self-esteem, i just like the idea of a really big, hairy brute violating my tiny asian hole. - it's a fetish, not a psychological compensatory mechanism.

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    1. OMG, I swear I was the one who wrote this!

      I'm Asian, and i like big, hairy Caucasian men who would love to play Violate My Tight Asian Hole with me. :)

      Delete
  26. i'm a young asian who likes hairy bearded older guys! Mostly older white guys are my favourite but i've seen some older asians happen to be very attractive. I have never attracted to any younger guys. 'Older white are into younger asian'.. It's not true I guess. The whole point here is preference. There is certainly no racism. They find you as a guy (not as an asian) unattractive, so be it.

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  27. i'm asian and into older guys. I don't like young boys because they are not attractive in my eyes. Hairy, bearded, muscular and age range which old enough to be my father are my turn ons. Whatever race they are, as long as i like em, there shouldn't be any problem at all. The whole point is if people unattracted to you as a guy and not as an asian, so be it. Nothing to do with racism.

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    1. I don't think the original post had a problem about not being attracted to a guy in general but rather it was articulated in a way that the lack of attraction was because of race (and class, and age, etc.)

      I agree that people are entitled to desire and express their desires. However, when these desires are expressed in general terms such as race, class, age etc. you need to face the possibility of confrontation. These terms are definitely NOT just preferences as they carry a lot of history and other political implications.

      What your desires are and how you choose to understand and express them is up to you but you also have the responsibility to express them with consideration for others. When you say "no asians", or "not fats" you are excluding an entire population of people based on a very small set of assumptions.

      It's not as simple as one might think whichever side you take on the issue. If there is a side in the first place.

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  28. I'm 35 yr old viet guy, and have no trouble get hot younger white dudes. Not that I think that's a bonus.

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  29. So I'm an asian guy, I also tend to like older men, not necessarily white, but older in general. I feel like as a 24 yo, I don't have much in common with other 24 yo, I share more with older men who are mature. I guess that's what I find attractive, maturity more than anything else, and older men tend to have that. They're not constantly going out to clubs, well most older men anyway, or look for a quickie, they actually want something more beyond a booty call.

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  30. I am an older white guy and have found Asians attractive and fun to know for more years than I care to remember. I didn't really think about Asians much in my younger days because I didn't have the opportunity to get to know any - there were very few around in the UK at that time outside London (other than the family who ran the local Chinese takeaway or Indian restaurant I suppose) But after I started working in London doing an evening job bar tending at a big dancehall in the West End I got to become friends with many guys from different ethnic backgrounds and a couple of them were Chinese Malaysian students. They were such great fun and so sweet that I fell in love ((unfortunately my love object was straight) but I never looked back. I dated older asian guys, younger asian guys a few were complete assholes but most had an inner beauty and self-assuredness that I couldn't see in whites who seemed so shallow in comparison. Eventually I met a Thai guy and we stayed together for 16 years until I was offered a job in Malaysia and he had a good job in the UK and wanted to stay on. I now have another 16-year relationship with a Malaysian guy 25 years younger than me. It has had its ups and downs but is still going strong. So yes, I guess older white guys do "get" younger Asian boyfriends but most of my expat gay friends out here (young and not-so-young) are pretty monogamous. You soon get labelled as a "sex tourist" if you aren't. Also I would say that 80% of younger gays in Malaysia are into other Malaysians not Caucasians - just like in the West interracial relationships here are viewed with some suspicion. A younger white guy here will have no problem finding a local sex partner in a sauna or club but may find it difficult to get beyond that stage for a variety of reasons. It was a really big deal when my bf took me back to meet his (extremely religious) parents. It was hate at first sight but eventually they came around and now I am (almost) one of the family. I think that there are guys who seek familiarity and those who seek adventure. I don't even really see a persons color any more. Guys are cute or not cute to me, just like everyone else, but I have found that dating on the basis of a photo online usually ends in failure. I'm no saint (and neither is my bf) but I just find the whole online stereotyping thing so depressing. Looks are important but how someone really "looks" when you meet them for real is a very different thing to their online picture as its so bound up in their personality. If you want to exclude 95% of the world on a whim (no Asians, no Uncles, no Chubs) thats your prerogative - but I find it rather sad. Does it mean that in your whole real (not online) life you have never met anyone you remotely fancied outside of your own stereotyped, online, porn & chatroom-obsessed hell? Maybe you need to get out more. Look for real friends not just online bad sex and you usually end up getting both a friend and good sex too. I have found that mature asians (whatever their age) tend to view the world this way and it seems to work for me too. But it took me a long time to realize it.

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  31. I am 25 super Asian male model for an International Model Agency and traveled alot of places to realize one thing. Doesnt matter what race you are. As long u look hot, there will be a bunch of fans want to a piece of u. So please forget the color of ur skins and go take care good urself. Nobody loved a low esteem guy. The main reason Asians like White because White guys had high self esteem which is affected by Western Culture while Asian cultures are more spiritual. BUT DOESNT MATTER who you are. Love is the same cause human got the same kind of heart if u find the right soul mate. STOP WHINING about Asian and White realtionship dramas. Look this is not the worst case for interacial relationships.

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    1. I definitely agree with you too. I'm not the best looking asian boy, but at 21 average body type i get my fair share of all kind of men hitting on me, that includes white guys at my same age

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  32. I think I agree with you! I'm an Asian and I find it's very sad.

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  33. Very crazy. I would say as well it depends on where in the United States (if that is where we are talking about) the white guy comes from. I mean it may vary even more in other caucasion areas of the world. But United States speaking, there is a great deal of difference depending on what area of the country you are from and / or talking about. I mean it is a known fact for instance that the South (like Texas or something) gay men are very closed minded. They date only other white men, and sleep only with hung latino men. If you live say in Atlanta, the only white people that live there go there for Black mans cock. Now for instance if you are in North Dakota or something, unless you are white, they probably think you are a farm animal or something wild on the loose.

    Now finally if you are asking where you often see mixed gay and white couples of same age, income range, equal in most aspects, etc....you are usually only going to see that in Southern California, maybe Las Vegas as there is an overflow of asians into that area, Seattle and the Northwest, and New York City. If you are in one of these areas you will not see old white men with asians often. You will typically see similarly age and socioeconomic backgroud white and asian couples. I dont know if it is a combination of the level of education being higher in these areas as a whole throught the US, or that there are typically more asian gays in those areas.

    Hope that helps, and hope people are not offended. Facts are facts however

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  34. I'm a white guy in my 30s. I was never, ever attracted to Asian guys until I moved to Asia for a little while. Then I started becoming attracted to them a lot. Now I prefer them over other races!
    I think I wasn't attracted to them before because I never grew up around any and just couldn't relate or see them as potential partners. Also, the stereotype of Asian men being non-sexual, effeminate and having small penises is very wide-spread. It's unfortunate, but stereotypes can last a long time. I think it's finally changing though.

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  35. I don't know where do you all asian people live but I am so shocked by this article. I just even discover that there was a "no asian" fashion in gay community. I am 23 asian who live in France and I never had any problems finding a boyfriend, attracting guys (white or not). I never heard of asian boys and men being not attractive to gay men before. I usually dated guys who are younger than me (two years approximatively) but sometimes a little bit older. Sometimes it was with guys who were in fond of asian, sometimes with some who didn't care at all.

    And for the internet issue, I used to go on a dating website and most guys fantasies would be with an asian guy. Maybe because it seems "exotic" or somewhat I don't know.

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    1. Another 10 years, you and the young gay Asian model in the comment above will beg for those attentions. There is always a trade-off in this world; don't be over confident with your long look now.

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  36. I just wanted to add that have been travelling a lot and the only problem I encountered was being gay in the first place and homophobia... I live in Paris but I went to New york once and I've been quickly approached by some guys, one latino, one black and one white man when I just walked in Soho during the day. So what you say is absolutely not true.
    And i'm feeling so much proud about being Asian guy as we are considered as very smart charming and attractive guys, at least it is what I heard from people around me.

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  37. I am half Thai and American 33 years old and have always liked older white guys. I never dated a guy my own age always 5+ years older and they were the ones always hitting on me. My partner of going on 13 year is 52 and is the best partner I've had .

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    Replies
    1. So, you're a bottom and a girly guy in the relationship?

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  38. I'm a 59 year old white guy living in Vietnam (and formerly in Indonesia) and I have to say I am amazed how easy it would be to find local guys if I wanted to, even guys 20 or 30 years younger than me. No one would look at me in a gay bar in the west, and I have to admit that the attention makes me feel good.

    So when I see guys my age with younger Asian guys (or straight guys with younger Asian wives), I understand the buzz that comes from simply being wanted, even if that is not a very noble feeling.

    But if you have a relationship with a younger Asian guy (and I have had two long ones, the current one still going on), you soon go past the stereotyping and start reacting to each other simply as two human beings, even if there are cultural differences. The problem is most people don't go past those stereotypes because they meet, have sex, say goodbye and move on to the next.

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  39. I'm an older White guy in my 40s who has found young slim Asian guys 18-30 to be very appealing and desirable. I don't have the same strong feelings for other males of different ethnicity and not even Filipinos or Middle Easterners, it's mostly for Japanese, Korean, Chinese guys. I have a few intimate encounters that were fantastic. I find myself getting very oral with Asians and have of late been searching for a younger Asian guy for companionship and perhaps something long term. I'm not out and don't really live a gay lifestyle, but there is something about a young Asian guy that does it for me. I would welcome hearing from any Asians who would be interested in discussing this with me.

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  40. I'm asian but yet I still get alot of attention. I'm only 13 but alot of guys seem to like me. like guys my age, none of those pedo like guys. It's not just asian guys that like me, white guys find my attractive too. I tend to turn them down because they rather go for look than personality. So trying to get a white guy isn't that hard, but trying to find one that likes you for your personality is.

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  41. ^ hard to believe.

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  42. Anyone who writes "No Asians Please" deserves to die alone.

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    1. How about someone who writes 'No whites please'?

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  43. I totally agree with this statement. I think it holds true for any race which isn't white. I am 23 year old Indian guy and sadly this is something that has happened to me. So, I totally relate to this sad but true statement.
    It’s not bad to have a preference but when, based on preference, someone eliminates the whole race because they are not "attracted" to them is absurd. Preference should be based on the beauty of a person no matter what their race is. I ran into this article few months ago and it’s very sad.

    http://www.gay.net/news/2012/02/16/skin-deep-gay-racism-comes-out
    It’s derogatory that we have sub communities of only white or only black or only "______" in already a small gay community. Too bad some people can’t get their head out of their ass.

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  44. Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. It been terrific in every sense. I'm a 57 year old caucasian professional and my partner is a 31 year old asian professional as well. We had an instant attraction for each other which is as strong today, with mutual respect and love, as ever. I totally recommend this type of relationship for all readers and the yes, the sex is fantastic.

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  45. I almost dated an asian guy until he started talking about his past relationships with guys more than twice his age.
    In his case he had a genuine preference for these kind of guys over ones his own age (white or asian).
    His childhood was *extremely* fucked up and he clearly had severe daddy issues.
    From what he said about these guys they seemed to have pedophillic fantasies which they fulfilled through these kind of relationships with 20yo asian guys. One of them apparently regularly traveled to other countries to seek *much* younger guys...
    The whole experience was eyeopening, but creeped me out to the point where i'm now a lot less open to dating an asian guy.

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  46. Asian men who solely go for white men usually come from southeast Asia (Thailand, the Philippines, Vietnam, etc). Southeast Asia is much more impoverished than, say, Korea and Japan, where white people aren't nearly as revered. Korean and Japanese Americans are less likely to throw themselves at white men, the decades-long symbols of economic power. Go figure.

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    1. The symbols of wealth and power are always what makes a culture find 'beauty'. In cultures where it is hard to get enough food, the heavy people are beautiful (check out old Indian films or medieval European nude paintings of females). When the poor worked outside pale skin was a sign of beauty, now among whites in America, people are willing to risk skin cancer in tanning salons, because the poor work inside while the rich have leisure to play in the sun. Skinny is becoming more attractive in America as obesity becomes the hallmark of the poor - proper diet costs more in either or both effort and price. So you are probably right in a great degree here. However, in the West for the most part, a huge percentage of the powerful and celebrated are still white, so it would come as no surprise if there were those even of Chinese and Japanese extraction were attracted to whites, and if some are, this would by no means refute your point, which though I don't know for sure, is probably true.

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    2. Koreans are poor, just pretentious.

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  47. I'm a 24 year old white guy, thin, in good shape, and I've always been attracted to Asians. I have a lot of Asian friends, (from China, Japan, Korea, and Philippines) and getting to know them has been an amazing experience. The one thing that bothers me though is that they all seem to have this universal attraction to older white men....these are guys in their early to mid 20's like me, who wouldn't date someone in the same age range...they seem to be exclusively into white guys in the 35+ range. (i should mention that not all my friends are like that but the majority of them are only into older white guys...)
    For me it's really weird. I try to keep an open mind about it because their interest seems legitimate, but I think it's gross. I can't picture dating someone 15 years older then me. I don't see what I would have in common with them... and I don't find older men physically attractive. I don't understand why some of my friends are throwing themselves at these creepy "pedo-ish" guys when there are plenty of guys in their own age range, (white, or otherwise) who actually are into asians...
    I guess I have a bit of a bad bias here as well that i should note, my ex who was Chinese, 22, left me for a white guy in his 40's.

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    1. Well yeah it depends on the person. I'm an asian and I've always been attracted to white people (well I'm bi, but I like men more than women). I couldn't make any progress with young white people or maybe I didn't have luck to find some kinda "perfect prince or princess" for my life, Most of them that they don't attracted to asians. And I believe there are actually a lot of asian guys nowadays who aren't attracted to any white guys. Well it is actually people's "taste".

      And about me, I have a white boyfriend who's older than me, but what I need from my partner is his love and how he treats me as his boyfriend and as a human, not a sex-partner.

      And about your relationship with your ex, and if you insist that you have treated him as good as you say, there are 3 possibilities, why you and your ex ended up your relationship :
      either there's something wrong between you two, maybe related to your or his personalities also behaviour which can't be taken anymore from both of you, OR your ex is some kinda like "jerk", OR maybe you've made some kinda mistake which he didn't like the most.

      Asians are also humans. and about your story , its maybe as well as what happens to the asians who are seeking white guys in their age. I mean, being hurt by someone you like the most with "behaviour and words". Well I used to it, and if i tell you my history, it would take 24h for me to write them on here. The point is, I used to ask every single white guy in my age wheter they wanna have a good talk and maybe have interest in being friends with me in the very first place. And what I got from those people? "Sorry you're not my type", or "Sorry, no interest", or maybe too "Sorry, Im not into asians, bye"...

      Well f*ck yeah, Maybe they got some kinda like very cute faces and body which make them like that, but they only thing about themselves and only want the best for their sexuality ego. Well it's just the question now, what about your feeling if you being hurt by words like that from someone whom you like or love? It's the same for asians (and the other races too) who also do that to their partner. Well its actually not because of the races too, but it depends on the very individual. Its just now many experiences like that are from white guys to asian or black men. Well , those white guys who don't like asians or blacks, you have to admit it, that you also have your ego for your eyes and your sexual fantasy. ;)

      -true story-

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  48. I have a question to ask all of you out there. I am 16 years old, and i had just recently came out. I don't really know much about the gay society, for example where can i find other partners? Bars? Gyms? i don't really know!! Another thing is that if you like someone, how are you sure that the person is gay? I mean once you say you like someone, but they aren't the same, your awesome friendship will be just broken away. Finally, i have no experience on dating what so ever, i really like to know how i would prepare myself. Please email me your suggestions. Thank you!!! :D

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  49. Most of the Asian guys on here are LYING about being attractive to white men. East Asian guys can't get good looking white men (or ANY good looking men!), PERIOD.

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    1. Totally agree with you! I am sick to hear/read those 'love' stories posted here. If they are attractive enough, why don't they put their pics here?! So we can see their attractiveness.

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    2. You know attractiveness is not a SOLE quality inherent in only ONE race. Grow up!

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  50. saying that older caucasians go for younger asians because as they grow older the caucasians are more wise and become less focused on superficialities is not wrong but I personally believe that is not the case. So what because now you're mature you have to date younger guys twice your age? wouldn't you go for someone your age as well. and usually the asian guys that date the older guys are not very mature acting. Just go visit a gay bar in Thailand or Singapore or Malaysia and just observe. I went to college in Seattle where I met my current 6-year partner in the fraternity that I joined. Now back in Southeast Asia I can't help but to notice white expats walking around like they are the big shots while groups of Asian boys just aggressively throw themselves at those white men. Most binational couples I see walking around town are usually young Asian guys with white guys twice their age. This is obviously a generalization but anybody who lives in Asia and observes well enough the Asian gay scene would know that this phenomenon is real.

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  51. You get anyone as long as you are hot. That's it

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    Replies
    1. Superficial answer from a superficial person. Ha!

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  52. no way! No freaking way that I'm dating older white man, no matter how hot he is. I can never understand why those asians date a 40 or 50 years old guy. I mean come on. He could be your dad!

    I'm 24 and I can only accept those who are 22 to 28....

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  53. I agree withthis article because I have faced a lot of discrimination...
    at the same time I can't bring myself to date any man who isn't white or latin. they just seem like real men because of all the media portraying them to be that way...and even my female friends who are Asian here in new York want to date white or latino men as opposed to Asians. I guess I have been conditioned to think their features are more beautiful

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  54. I being asian (south asian) being gay age 38 never been attracted to white men.

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  55. C'mon, it s a matter of taste. I never find myself attracted to younger guys at all but older men is!!! most guys i've been with usually age between 40 to 58 that's it!!

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  56. I'm a 46 year old gay Asian male. I admit, I used to only WANT to date or sleep with White men. Sure I've slept with other types of men aside from whites I.e. Blacks,Asians and Latinos...but only as a second choice (sadly). But as I get older, my preferences (and priorities) have changed. I noticed that I am now more attracted to older masculine Asian men. Perhaps its because I like myself more now...now, that I am older and wiser.

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  57. Screw the white guys...come to the middle east...smooth Asian guys there are in demand by Lebanese, qataris, syrans, egyptians, pakistanis etc....they just love slim smooth bodies and as long as you're not hideous you can score!!!!!

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    1. I can tell that you are into hairy men :). It's all good. You know where to go to get what you want.

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    2. ARAB men ARE freaking HOT!!! Wait until you come to the US and the white dudes say 'NO Arabs" because they don't trust people from the Arab world. Prejudiced people.

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  58. As a white male I have always wanted a cute asian guy for a boyfriend, now that I am older I am still wishing for an Asian boyfriend. There is some truth in all of people here have written Here in Phoenix AZ however you have to be a rich man to attract an Asian guy, there are so few of them and they want to be supported, which I would not mind doing if I were a richer guy.

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  59. Love my Asian men. But none to date around here

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